I don't want to be a bitch about the lucky guy I am to have a job.
But I'm fucking sick of working in retail and serving retarded mouth breathers all day long. It's a good job in theory. It's a great job if you decided not to go to college or if you're working through college. Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to the retail gods that such a place exists. It has done me some good.
I just can't be there anymore. But it's obvious I wont get anywhere else for awhile so I'll be stuck. Interview after interview, resume after resume gets rejected. Luckily when I'm used to rejection because I've had so much practice being in a band for a huge chunk of my life and sending out submissions of shit I've written. Rejection is pretty easy for me; it's expected.
Some cocky ass bitch who probably left her purple dildo wedged up her asshole when she came shopping had the gall to complain about me because I asked for my lunch. You see, where I work you get written up if you have late lunches. Asking is the only way to avoid punishment. This is what this cocky whore tells me, "You're in the adult world now, you're going to have to skip some meals."
Bitch, I've been in the adult world for quite some time. Believe you me, I could give a fuck about getting a late lunch but my employer punishes me. Being an adult who wants to keep his job to pay his bills and not suck on the government's tits for money, I made the rational decision to ask for my lunch five minutes before I violate. Fuck you, whore.
What is it with elderly Asian people who come up with their carts with a ball made up of plastic bags meant to put meat into? What the fuck do you guys do? Stockpile this shit in your basement? What the fuck do you need 100 empty plastic bags every fucking time you shop? And then you want PAPER BAGS TOO?! Give me a break. Every time a non-English speaker asks for something they always make hand motions that are illogical and make no sense. If you're asking for a basketball, please do not draw a box in the air with your finger. It's hard enough trying to figure out that paketbarr was a basketball. Your hand motions are a hindrance, not a help.
Why do people act like they just got their nuts shoved up their ass when you ask for their ID when they charge a credit card? Or write a check for an ungodly amount? Don't you want someone to ask for your ID? I explain this to everyone who gets all bitchy about it. Do you want Don Ramon using Steve Smith's credit card and charging $1000 worth of tortilla, tequila, and Angelina Jolie movies? No. You don't. But you'll bitch until it happens to you. And once it happens to you, you'll bitch every time someone doesn't ask you for an ID. PLEASE, you people, commit suicide. No one likes you. They tell me.
My favorites though are the ass suckers who write "PLS CHECK ID" where their signature should be. Then you ask for ID and they go, "WHY?! NO ONE'S ASKED BEFORE!" And then I show them what they themselves wrote and ask, "Is this your card? Did you write that? If you wrote it, I HAVE to ask. Or you could just not charge this tub of mayonnaise and find some other way to pay."
One time a guy bought a big screen TV, a block of cheddar cheese, and condoms. Have fun putting on condoms, eating cheese, and watching TV you fucking one stop shopper.
30 January 2009
28 January 2009
The Perfect Storm
Drudge headline: "Putin calls economic crisis a 'perfect storm.'"
The link it leads to:
Putin calls economic crisis a 'perfect storm'
Jan 28 01:04 PM US/Eastern
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin on Wednesday called the international economic crisis the "perfect storm".
That's the entire story! Hardly worth even posting until there is some context worth reading besides an expanded headline. Don't get me wrong, I'm a drudge addict but it's been falling off my radar more and more lately. It's like the last minutes at a grocery store: you see the tabloid, you read the front cover but you rarely ever open it. The fewer times I now find something worth reading more off of drudge shit like this happens. He shouldn't have linked it to something. He should have just put plain text and said "Developing..."
A minor setback to an otherwise decent day.
The link it leads to:
Putin calls economic crisis a 'perfect storm'
Jan 28 01:04 PM US/Eastern
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin on Wednesday called the international economic crisis the "perfect storm".
That's the entire story! Hardly worth even posting until there is some context worth reading besides an expanded headline. Don't get me wrong, I'm a drudge addict but it's been falling off my radar more and more lately. It's like the last minutes at a grocery store: you see the tabloid, you read the front cover but you rarely ever open it. The fewer times I now find something worth reading more off of drudge shit like this happens. He shouldn't have linked it to something. He should have just put plain text and said "Developing..."
A minor setback to an otherwise decent day.
27 January 2009
the weak willed
in my recent analysis of a handful of women, I have come to the following conclusion:
women are weak and dong-dependent.
recently, i have seen an outbreak of women who have ended long relationships (year +) and are now, a couple months broken up, in another relationship. I mean really......come on. I am not the only one who sees this, and you look pitiful. You break up with someone who we all know you were enjoying and then you put on a front, taking pictures and acting like you are in love again.
Pitiful.
I will never understand women.
women are weak and dong-dependent.
recently, i have seen an outbreak of women who have ended long relationships (year +) and are now, a couple months broken up, in another relationship. I mean really......come on. I am not the only one who sees this, and you look pitiful. You break up with someone who we all know you were enjoying and then you put on a front, taking pictures and acting like you are in love again.
Pitiful.
I will never understand women.
25 January 2009
Ahhhhhh
It's funny how graduating doesn't feel like graduating until all of your friends go back to school.
I'm experiencing this shit first hand today. I'm done with school.
I have no job prospects lined up.
I have no good looking future for the meanwhile.
But I feel fucking great.
Have fun at school, fuckers.
I'm experiencing this shit first hand today. I'm done with school.
I have no job prospects lined up.
I have no good looking future for the meanwhile.
But I feel fucking great.
Have fun at school, fuckers.
24 January 2009
things that annoy me #2
Urinals.
Yes, urinals. Whoever is the engineer who designed them is retarded. I say engineer, because they usually design everything. as my piss flows from my urethra it needs the most ergonomic feel..... companies would probably say some bullshit like that or something.
Anyways, I have come to this conclusion about the floating urinals (the ones that don't drain at your feet, even though it may apply to those too depending on the your personal urination flow): when piss hits the urinal it splashes everywhere!!!
I dont really care that it splashes everywhere, cuz its really only a golden mist when it lands on the skin.... well it doesnt even land on the skin. its so light that it just gets stuck in the hair. Bleach-blond leg hairs has a new meaning now. but really dont you think they could have designed something a little fucking different? I can pee in my bushes at home (which i frequently do when i get the urge) and get less on me.
How about a urinal like this:
Not only would it be cool cuz you feel like you are getting target practice, but if you have a horse cock its a free mouthfuck with piss lubrication.
ENJOY!
Yes, urinals. Whoever is the engineer who designed them is retarded. I say engineer, because they usually design everything. as my piss flows from my urethra it needs the most ergonomic feel..... companies would probably say some bullshit like that or something.
Anyways, I have come to this conclusion about the floating urinals (the ones that don't drain at your feet, even though it may apply to those too depending on the your personal urination flow): when piss hits the urinal it splashes everywhere!!!
I dont really care that it splashes everywhere, cuz its really only a golden mist when it lands on the skin.... well it doesnt even land on the skin. its so light that it just gets stuck in the hair. Bleach-blond leg hairs has a new meaning now. but really dont you think they could have designed something a little fucking different? I can pee in my bushes at home (which i frequently do when i get the urge) and get less on me.
How about a urinal like this:
Not only would it be cool cuz you feel like you are getting target practice, but if you have a horse cock its a free mouthfuck with piss lubrication.
ENJOY!
23 January 2009
22 January 2009
Im in the wrong fucking profession
Anyone stricken with the burden of knowing me knows that i probably have the worst profession known to man (even though it pays well); however, that is not the point i am trying to make. Today, at the hospital, i had an epiphany. It was there in the waiting room of my primary physicians that i asked myself:
WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SO MANY HOT PEOPLE AT HOSPITALS???
I mean, really, the place is a fucking magnet for them. In the 20 minutes it took me to get from the freeway to the office I had seen 5 lookers walking the hospital streets, a young (but beautiful) parking lot attendant, 3 slutted receptionists, couple patients, nurses (of course), and finally to top it off an ethnic (most likely arab) beauty who just happened to be a doctor wearing these foot high fuck-me boots.
Now i cant say that the business world wont have as many good looking girls because I havent started working yet, but I can tell you right now it will be hard to compete with the competition that the hospitals give. I realize now that I should:
1. be a hypochondriac
2. get aids
3. be a fucking doctor
If you take anything away from this post, I would like you to realize that if you are going to be a doctor, be a doctor for the right reasons. Do it for the pussy.
Do me a favor and get sick just to verify my post. A good friend of us bloggers has decided to take my advice and has gotten sickly just so he could visit them hospital bitches. Thank you Kappers and good luck today.
WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SO MANY HOT PEOPLE AT HOSPITALS???
I mean, really, the place is a fucking magnet for them. In the 20 minutes it took me to get from the freeway to the office I had seen 5 lookers walking the hospital streets, a young (but beautiful) parking lot attendant, 3 slutted receptionists, couple patients, nurses (of course), and finally to top it off an ethnic (most likely arab) beauty who just happened to be a doctor wearing these foot high fuck-me boots.
Now i cant say that the business world wont have as many good looking girls because I havent started working yet, but I can tell you right now it will be hard to compete with the competition that the hospitals give. I realize now that I should:
1. be a hypochondriac
2. get aids
3. be a fucking doctor
If you take anything away from this post, I would like you to realize that if you are going to be a doctor, be a doctor for the right reasons. Do it for the pussy.
Do me a favor and get sick just to verify my post. A good friend of us bloggers has decided to take my advice and has gotten sickly just so he could visit them hospital bitches. Thank you Kappers and good luck today.
Freudroids
I was in the employee break room yesterday, reading the day before yesterday's paper and I came across the damnedest thing:
How was this a good idea? Nasal retentive? That's a knee slapper.
The other thing is that they seem to be saying hemorrhoids are a good thing to have; after all, FREUD HAD 'EM! Sigmund Freud has been reduced to hocking hemorrhoid treatment.
How was this a good idea? Nasal retentive? That's a knee slapper.
The other thing is that they seem to be saying hemorrhoids are a good thing to have; after all, FREUD HAD 'EM! Sigmund Freud has been reduced to hocking hemorrhoid treatment.
21 January 2009
20 January 2009
I hate the apple store
So I have a mac. A really old one that is slowly turning into a piece of shit. I’m talking 5 minute battery life maximum. Because it’s so old, shit keeps happening and I am forced to go to the apple store. The closest apple store is South Coast Plaza aka Hell.
Trip #1 (a few months ago):
Apple Douche: How can I help you?
Me: My computer is broken.
Apple Douche: It is past the appointment making time today, you have to come tomorrow.
Me (bitch mode setting in): No. I didn’t drive all the way out here for nothing.
Apple Douche: I’m sorry ma’am. It is past the appointment time.
Me: You close in like 5 hours. There are like 100 people working here. You’re telling me not ONE person can take 5 minutes and look at my computer?!
Apple Douche: Well, there is a possibility that somebody at the Genius Bar might be able to take a look at it.
Me: What the fuck is a Genius Bar?
Apple Douche: It’s over there, those are our geniuses. In fact I think one can help you now.
Genius Apple Douche: What seems to be the problem?
Me: My computer won’t charge. The charger thing broke off inside of it.
Genius Apple Douche: Oh let me take this to our repairman and see what he says.
(1 minute later)
Genius Apple Douche: Ya, he says it’s definitely broke off inside there.
Me: THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING JUST TOLD YOU.
Genius Apple Douche: Ya, it’ll probably cost about $250 to fix plus $80 for a new charger. Is that ok?
Me: No, that is not ok. Nevermind.
That night my good friend’s father fixed it... for free.
Two days ago it stopped charging.
Trip #2 (today):
New Apple Douche: How can I help you?
Me: My computer is broken.
New Apple Douche: There are no more appointments for today. You will have to come tomorrow.
Me: It is Tuesday at 11:00am. Last time I came on a weekend. How is this possible?
New Apple Douche: We could see if Fashion Island has an appointment.
Me: Fine, whatever.
(5 minutes later)
Me: You know what, forget it. Can’t I just fucking leave my computer here, you guys fix it, and call me when it is done?!
New Apple Douche: Yes, but if you see a Genius today it will only take 3 days, if you leave it, it could take 7 to 10 days!
Me: WHY?!
New Apple Douche: Because the meeting with the Genius is how you fix it!
Me: This computer needs to be completely taken apart! There is no way one of those “Geniuses” can fix it, it just doesn’t make sense. I don’t need my computer THAT bad, just take it.
New Apple Douche: Ok, we will call you ma’am.
So, now that I look back on these two trips, maybe it wasn’t THAT bad. I think you really have to be there. It is the mixture of the fucking South Coast Plaza mystic tanned bleach blonde 90 pound rich fucking bitches and the apple store fucktards who think so highly of themselves that they actually refer to each other as “geniuses”.
Moral of the story: buy a pc.
Happy Nigel?
Trip #1 (a few months ago):
Apple Douche: How can I help you?
Me: My computer is broken.
Apple Douche: It is past the appointment making time today, you have to come tomorrow.
Me (bitch mode setting in): No. I didn’t drive all the way out here for nothing.
Apple Douche: I’m sorry ma’am. It is past the appointment time.
Me: You close in like 5 hours. There are like 100 people working here. You’re telling me not ONE person can take 5 minutes and look at my computer?!
Apple Douche: Well, there is a possibility that somebody at the Genius Bar might be able to take a look at it.
Me: What the fuck is a Genius Bar?
Apple Douche: It’s over there, those are our geniuses. In fact I think one can help you now.
Genius Apple Douche: What seems to be the problem?
Me: My computer won’t charge. The charger thing broke off inside of it.
Genius Apple Douche: Oh let me take this to our repairman and see what he says.
(1 minute later)
Genius Apple Douche: Ya, he says it’s definitely broke off inside there.
Me: THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING JUST TOLD YOU.
Genius Apple Douche: Ya, it’ll probably cost about $250 to fix plus $80 for a new charger. Is that ok?
Me: No, that is not ok. Nevermind.
That night my good friend’s father fixed it... for free.
Two days ago it stopped charging.
Trip #2 (today):
New Apple Douche: How can I help you?
Me: My computer is broken.
New Apple Douche: There are no more appointments for today. You will have to come tomorrow.
Me: It is Tuesday at 11:00am. Last time I came on a weekend. How is this possible?
New Apple Douche: We could see if Fashion Island has an appointment.
Me: Fine, whatever.
(5 minutes later)
Me: You know what, forget it. Can’t I just fucking leave my computer here, you guys fix it, and call me when it is done?!
New Apple Douche: Yes, but if you see a Genius today it will only take 3 days, if you leave it, it could take 7 to 10 days!
Me: WHY?!
New Apple Douche: Because the meeting with the Genius is how you fix it!
Me: This computer needs to be completely taken apart! There is no way one of those “Geniuses” can fix it, it just doesn’t make sense. I don’t need my computer THAT bad, just take it.
New Apple Douche: Ok, we will call you ma’am.
So, now that I look back on these two trips, maybe it wasn’t THAT bad. I think you really have to be there. It is the mixture of the fucking South Coast Plaza mystic tanned bleach blonde 90 pound rich fucking bitches and the apple store fucktards who think so highly of themselves that they actually refer to each other as “geniuses”.
Moral of the story: buy a pc.
Happy Nigel?
January 20, 2009
President Barack Hussein Obama. 44th President of the United States of America.
Amen!
18 January 2009
Lebron's announcement
The Taco Thrower
Kid throws taco at mom, mom gets taco all over her shirt, kid rotting jail.
So far this is my favorite story of 2009. It will easily get trumped by something else considering its so early in the year but so far this story is the shit.
The kid was playing Xbox and the parents wanted him to come to eat family dinner and he got all pissed off and slapped his mom and threw a taco (that she made) at her. If you think about it, it'd be a good symbolic breakdown scene in a dumb teenage movie. The mom gave a bloody, disgusting birth to her son. The taco symbolizes the son because she made them both. But the son is rebellious and the taco hits her and gets her clothes all dirty. The moral: Don't have kids or don't make bad kids tacos.
The only thing that could possibly make this story better is if someone had recorded their Xbox Live chat with this douchey kid. It had to be golden. I've heard a few parent/child fights over the PlayStation Network and the guy always comes back and claims his wife was giving him a hard time. Sure, buddy. Your "wife" is threatening to ground you and take away your PlayStation. Sure, buddy. You "wife" threatened to stop giving you hand jobs while you play Call of Duty and eat Cheetos. That's something only a mother's love can endure.
16 January 2009
My Bukowski Addiction
Charles Bukowski is quickly rising on my list of favorite writers as I read more of his shit.
Lots of people hate him because he's a chauvinist in most his writing. He's an asshole. A bitter asshole. But also hilarious.
People say he can't write. I don't think he'd argue with them on that. He dedicated his last novel (Pulp) to bad writing. Just read this shit and say it's not awesome. I dare you.
8 Count
from my bed
I watch
3 birds
on a telephone
wire.
one flies
off
then
another.
one is left,
then
it too is gone.
my typewriter is
tombstone
still.
and i am
reduced to bird
watching.
just thought I'd
let you
know,
fucker.
At 2:07 his little thing about beer shits is spot on.
Around 3:10 is another wise nugget from everyone's favorite dickhead.
Lots of people hate him because he's a chauvinist in most his writing. He's an asshole. A bitter asshole. But also hilarious.
People say he can't write. I don't think he'd argue with them on that. He dedicated his last novel (Pulp) to bad writing. Just read this shit and say it's not awesome. I dare you.
8 Count
from my bed
I watch
3 birds
on a telephone
wire.
one flies
off
then
another.
one is left,
then
it too is gone.
my typewriter is
tombstone
still.
and i am
reduced to bird
watching.
just thought I'd
let you
know,
fucker.
At 2:07 his little thing about beer shits is spot on.
Around 3:10 is another wise nugget from everyone's favorite dickhead.
14 January 2009
Things I learned in Hawaii
Garkahar is afraid of:
Snorkeling
Being in the middle of the ocean
Dolphins hiding in waves
Strip Clubs
Vaginas
Vladmir is afraid of:
Heights
Regardless of what happened the trip was awesome. I've never been to Hawaii and we didn't exactly get the touristy side of things there.
My first brush with my unbelievable pussy-ness of heights was when we hiked up to a waterfall and jumped in the lake that it formed at its bottom. I was the first to jump so naturally I wasn't able to tell if the person ahead of me fell to their death. I was the guinea pig. Usually in those kinds of situations I would ask Garkahar to go first. If he died (or broke any bones), I wouldn't jump. If he didn't die, I would.
My second brush with my unbelievable wet vagina-ness was when we jumped off a cliff thing into the ocean. Tons of people were doing this and not dying yet I still couldn't get over the fact that I was going to be jumping. After about 30 minutes of praying to Jesus, Allah, Vishnu, and every other divine being I could think of two five year old girls made the jump into their dad's loving arms. If two little girls could do it, I could too. But my dad wasn't in Hawaii to catch me. That and Garkahar did it too and didn't die. We made that jump about five times. It was awesome.
I didn't know I was afraid of heights before this trip. We stayed with a friend in her condo on the 23rd floor and I could look down and lean over the balcony no problem. We both made fun of Garkahar because he questioned the stability of her railing. The roles switched once we made those jumps. I'm a little ashamed but I overcame.
Garkahar had a priceless quote once on the beach. He said, "Don't you ever think about when you catch a wave a dolphin smacking you in the head and knocking you unconscious?"
No, Garkahar, I never thought about it.
At Senor Frogs I threw up in my hand on the way to the restroom and it almost ricocheted onto some dude that I obviously did not want to throw up on. Luckily he was shocked and looking to see if any did get on his snazzy shirt as I continued to power walk to the bathroom to clean myself up. My Ol' Dirty Bastard shirt is now my official drunk throw up shirt. I've thrown up on that shirt more times then I like to recount.
Side notes: the main Wal-Mart in Oahu does not smell like crap and is unbelievably clean and organized. The people that work there don't look like they hate their lives.
People are absolutely nuts about Obama there. You cannot walk into a store without seeing a badly airbrushed t-shirt of him. One shirt I saw had Obama's face photo shopped onto Will Smith's for the I am Legend poster. It was horribly awesome. Barnes and Noble has a whole table dedicated to "Hawaii's Native Son."
I'm glad to be back; Hawaii's great but you start to miss In-N-Out after awhile.
I'm sure Garkahar will have a companion post about how much of a dick/pussy I am.
Snorkeling
Being in the middle of the ocean
Dolphins hiding in waves
Strip Clubs
Vaginas
Vladmir is afraid of:
Heights
Regardless of what happened the trip was awesome. I've never been to Hawaii and we didn't exactly get the touristy side of things there.
My first brush with my unbelievable pussy-ness of heights was when we hiked up to a waterfall and jumped in the lake that it formed at its bottom. I was the first to jump so naturally I wasn't able to tell if the person ahead of me fell to their death. I was the guinea pig. Usually in those kinds of situations I would ask Garkahar to go first. If he died (or broke any bones), I wouldn't jump. If he didn't die, I would.
My second brush with my unbelievable wet vagina-ness was when we jumped off a cliff thing into the ocean. Tons of people were doing this and not dying yet I still couldn't get over the fact that I was going to be jumping. After about 30 minutes of praying to Jesus, Allah, Vishnu, and every other divine being I could think of two five year old girls made the jump into their dad's loving arms. If two little girls could do it, I could too. But my dad wasn't in Hawaii to catch me. That and Garkahar did it too and didn't die. We made that jump about five times. It was awesome.
I didn't know I was afraid of heights before this trip. We stayed with a friend in her condo on the 23rd floor and I could look down and lean over the balcony no problem. We both made fun of Garkahar because he questioned the stability of her railing. The roles switched once we made those jumps. I'm a little ashamed but I overcame.
Garkahar had a priceless quote once on the beach. He said, "Don't you ever think about when you catch a wave a dolphin smacking you in the head and knocking you unconscious?"
No, Garkahar, I never thought about it.
At Senor Frogs I threw up in my hand on the way to the restroom and it almost ricocheted onto some dude that I obviously did not want to throw up on. Luckily he was shocked and looking to see if any did get on his snazzy shirt as I continued to power walk to the bathroom to clean myself up. My Ol' Dirty Bastard shirt is now my official drunk throw up shirt. I've thrown up on that shirt more times then I like to recount.
Side notes: the main Wal-Mart in Oahu does not smell like crap and is unbelievably clean and organized. The people that work there don't look like they hate their lives.
People are absolutely nuts about Obama there. You cannot walk into a store without seeing a badly airbrushed t-shirt of him. One shirt I saw had Obama's face photo shopped onto Will Smith's for the I am Legend poster. It was horribly awesome. Barnes and Noble has a whole table dedicated to "Hawaii's Native Son."
I'm glad to be back; Hawaii's great but you start to miss In-N-Out after awhile.
I'm sure Garkahar will have a companion post about how much of a dick/pussy I am.
07 January 2009
06 January 2009
Here is a Game
http://www.addictinggames.com/bubblespinner.html
I rape at, so you can try and beat my score. :)
I rape at, so you can try and beat my score. :)
Hawaii
I write this because I will be gone until Tuesday in Hawaii. As will Garkahar.
I've never been to Hawaii and I'm looking forward to seeing clear oceans. It'll be a huge difference from swimming in the shit water we have here in Southern California. I doubt I will be able to post but if something interesting happens I probably will. Hopefully Yuri, Nipple, CHR, Nigel, Butters, etc pick up the slack.
Vacation.
I've never been to Hawaii and I'm looking forward to seeing clear oceans. It'll be a huge difference from swimming in the shit water we have here in Southern California. I doubt I will be able to post but if something interesting happens I probably will. Hopefully Yuri, Nipple, CHR, Nigel, Butters, etc pick up the slack.
Vacation.
03 January 2009
things that annoy me #1
hello folks,
I have been trying to compiler a list of things that annoy me forever, but have not got around to it since it is pretty meaningless. So in order to speed this process up i will post somethign when i am annoyed. Be prepared, this could be lengthy.
-Family members using your towel -> Drying off with a wet towel
I mean come on.... that has got to be the worst feeling. you get all fresh and clean and then you are rubbing their nasty ass skin particles all over yourself... on top of that it is just unsatisfying
-not being able to masturbate when i want to
speaks for itself. I have been cockblocked by life when hand sex has literally been 2 minutes away at least 5 times in the last 3 days.
thats all i have off the top of my head. I had to post this because i couldnt masturbate before meeting up with the friends.
I have been trying to compiler a list of things that annoy me forever, but have not got around to it since it is pretty meaningless. So in order to speed this process up i will post somethign when i am annoyed. Be prepared, this could be lengthy.
-Family members using your towel -> Drying off with a wet towel
I mean come on.... that has got to be the worst feeling. you get all fresh and clean and then you are rubbing their nasty ass skin particles all over yourself... on top of that it is just unsatisfying
-not being able to masturbate when i want to
speaks for itself. I have been cockblocked by life when hand sex has literally been 2 minutes away at least 5 times in the last 3 days.
thats all i have off the top of my head. I had to post this because i couldnt masturbate before meeting up with the friends.
02 January 2009
Let's talk Israel
Recently Israel decided that they haven't gone batshit insane in a long time so they decided to launch military operations on the Gaza strip.
I'm not anti-Israel but I do believe in Palestinian statehood. Israel has a right to defend itself and when some retarded terrorist group like Hamas launches rockets into your country, you have a right to swat those flies.
The problem is Israel is showing extreme force and even bombed a police station? Israel should stop fucking around and just declare war already and get rid of this problem once and for all.
The United States should not get involved militarily. The world bitches at us when we intervene and the world bitches at us when we don't intervene. We have two wars in that God forsaken region anyways; might as well win those.
I believe the solution is getting the Palestinian leadership and the Israeli leadership to come together somewhere, give them an ounce of the most awesome rastafarian substaenc, blare reggae and smoke it until they start giggling and making self deprecating jokes about themselves. After about an hour and a half they will get hungry and go to the local McDonald's. The Palestinians will order hamburgers for the Israelis because of their respectful awareness of Kosher dietary laws. The Israelis will order cheeseburgers for the Palestinians, hide them behind their backs and put some cyanide into the patties. The world can say, "At least they were friends for two hours." Twenty years later a heart wrenching drama will be made called "Munichies."
I'm not anti-Israel but I do believe in Palestinian statehood. Israel has a right to defend itself and when some retarded terrorist group like Hamas launches rockets into your country, you have a right to swat those flies.
The problem is Israel is showing extreme force and even bombed a police station? Israel should stop fucking around and just declare war already and get rid of this problem once and for all.
The United States should not get involved militarily. The world bitches at us when we intervene and the world bitches at us when we don't intervene. We have two wars in that God forsaken region anyways; might as well win those.
I believe the solution is getting the Palestinian leadership and the Israeli leadership to come together somewhere, give them an ounce of the most awesome rastafarian substaenc, blare reggae and smoke it until they start giggling and making self deprecating jokes about themselves. After about an hour and a half they will get hungry and go to the local McDonald's. The Palestinians will order hamburgers for the Israelis because of their respectful awareness of Kosher dietary laws. The Israelis will order cheeseburgers for the Palestinians, hide them behind their backs and put some cyanide into the patties. The world can say, "At least they were friends for two hours." Twenty years later a heart wrenching drama will be made called "Munichies."
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