Rent-A-Cops

Security guards have got to be the biggest dumbfucks on earth. Sometimes I think I hate them more than cops... sometimes. They're all butt hurt because they aren't cops so they act like assholes. The worst part is, they don't even know what they're talking about! I had a run in with one last night...

I went to a local hill/park to watch a meteor shower with a good friend. We were sitting on a bench minding our own business when out of nowhere a huge light shines on us. After my initial confusion, I noticed it was coming from a cop... I mean... SECURITY GUARD car. Pffffff. So naturally, we just sit there and keep talking. The security guard, some scrawny little piece of shit, resembling a nerdier Barney Fife, walks over to us and says, "THANK YOU FOR IGNORING ME! THE PARK IS CLOSED!"

Now... since WHEN does shining a light from your car mean "Come over here!" From my experience, when a cop shines his light on you, he is looking for alcohol, drugs, weapons, etc... The LAST thing he wants you to do is WALK over to his car. How do I know more about this shit than a security guard? You know how? Because security guards are FUCKING RETARDS.

END.