12 June 2009

Out of Stater Haters

Yesterday I got into what could quite possibly be the worst road rage argument I've ever been in. I say 'quite possibly' because I have no memory anymore but I'm pretty sure this one takes the cake.

So... I'm sitting at a big intersection minding my own business and behind me is a douche bag in a mini van with his fat ugly toothless wife next to him and retarded piece of shit kids jumping all over the back seat. All of a sudden douche bag decides that he wants to turn left so he cuts off a city bus to quickly get into the left turn lane. The city bus honks at him. In my opinion, if a bus honks at you, this means you are driving like an idiot. The light turns green and all of a sudden douche bag decides he doesn't want to turn left anymore, he wants to go straight, so he cuts me off in the middle of the fucking intersection with no blinker. Of course, I honk, and when I honk, it's not quick, I let it go for a good ten seconds so douche bag is well aware that I'm pissed. Douche bag flips me off, so I do the same. This goes on for a good mile until we find ourselves right next to each other at the next red light. This is when the screaming fest begins:

DB: You tried to hit me!
Me: Have you heard of using a blinker?!
DB: Whatever! Blinker! Whatever! You tried to hit me!
Me: Are you hearing yourself?! Yes, you're right, I tried to hit you. I WANT to fuck up my car! That's EXACTLY what I was trying to do!
DB: You know what?! Everyone in California drives like morons! I'm from Cleveland and in Cleveland people let other people over!
Me: You don't need to say anything else! That explains it all! Do people in Cleveland know how to use fucking blinkers?!
(Light turns green)
DB: You know what! You have a nice day!
Me: You know what! Go back to fucking Cleveland because we don't want you here you piece of shit!

Believe it or not, this is the condensed version. The actual incident consisted of more of the douche bag repeating himself and calling me a moron and more of me cussing and screaming 'fuck you, go fuck yourself'.

Moral of the story: if you happen to live in one of the 49 states besides California, FUCKING STAY THERE.

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3 comments:

vladmir said...

Cleveland-ers are known retards. How could they possibly believe Lebron was better than Kobe? HA! Also, where was your sword? This sounds like a very womanly argument.

vladmir said...

Change "blinker" to "turn signal" to be taken seriously haha

chr said...

thanks for the advice. not.

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