Let's talk about skin tags

For quite some time I had a skin tag under my armpit. I don't know why it showed up, it just did.

So I did some internet research about safe ways to get rid of them. Previously I just burned the one on my neck and plucked it off. That doesn't seem safe and it definitely wouldn't be safe under my pits.

One way was to cut it off. I can't do that. I love myself too much to cut a piece of me off.

There were a few other ways but I picked the most pansy one. Tying a string around the base of the skin tag and waiting for it to fall off. I forced my ladyfriend to tie the string so I could blame her if I got cancer or had to get my arm amputated.

Days later, it shriveled up and died. As I went to throw it in the trash I though about how similar it looked to a bloody booger. Boy, did I love the salty sweet taste of blood burgers. So I swallowed it.

Now it's in the ocean because I shit it out.