The joy of modern life

Sometimes I think that the world is too computerized and bullshitty with our yearly American Idol contests, our Twitters, blogs, Facebooks, and manufactured NBA playoff narratives (Lebron vs. Kobe ... NO CONTEST. KOBE.)

Occasionally, though, I love the modern world. Today you can be a peeping tom without ever even leaving your armchair. Armchair voyeurism. Armchair snooping. Real life soap operas. It makes my boner itch just thinking about it!

I'm friends with two people who are dating on facebook. They have their twitters linked up to their facebook or whatever (don't know shit about what it all is and I feel like a total fag either twitter or facebook let alone both in the same sentence.) Turns out there is trouble in paradise.

This morning opened with the female saying something to the extent of, "I got a lot off my breasts this morning. I don't know what to do with myself! =("

Oh yeah, I curled up with my cup of coffee just waiting to see the response of the male.

10 minutes later he facebooks his status: "Who's it gonna be... him or me?! What's he have that I don't!?"

This is like the good episode of Full House when DJ has to choose between the burnout guitar player and the young and nerdy entrepreneur.

These two do this all the time and unfortunately this story probably will end like the rest of them. The guy will put his dick between his legs, admit he was 100% wrong in everything and commit the ultimate act of apologizing and proving his love to his two timin' bitch. His status update will read: "I love [first name][middle name][last name][then his last name as a little joke to imply that they were meant for each other and will eventually get married because they can resolve problems!]"

She will get his status update while the other man is boning her in the ass on his armchair browsing through people's facebooks.