Swine flu and swine

Yo what the hell is up, mutha fuckers?

So this whole swine flu has everyone paranoid and hating Mexico again but please allow me to throw my dos pesos into this opinion arena.

Wash your motherfucking hands after you piss and shit.

When you cough, cough into a napkin and throw that goddamn napkin away.

Why am I saying this? I work serving a bunch of pigs. Maybe some of them will get the swine flu, maybe some of them already have them. I don't want it. Every day I go to work I see people who don't wash their hands. If you spend 10 minutes making a beautiful symphony of farts and caca, you can definitely spend 15 seconds washing your hands. I can't even begin to count the times I've seen shit on the floor and ON (read that ON, not IN) the toilet. People are disgusting. At least wash your hands.

Some older lady borrowed my pen to write her check. Before doing anything she coughed onto my pen. I'm an asshole and I open my mouth when this kind of shit happens so I said, "You can keep then pen when you're done." She got in a geriatric huff and was offended that I wouldn't want her ancient germs. After writing her check she slammed the pen back on the check stand as if to say, "You'll come to your senses and want your pen back." Before she left I made it a point to get a bunch of paper towels to pick up the pen and threw it away in front of her. No, I will not come to my senses.

My point is... I need a new job.