30 September 2008

How to Blame

Scroll down to read garkahar’s take on this new show I keep hearing about. I don’t know shit, but I’m gonna make a gigantic post filled with conservative viewpoints. Enjoy.

I’m far from an expert on economics. Nor can I claim a complete understanding of the government’s role in our financial system or the related politics. But if a degree in Political Science has given me anything, it’s my expertise in blaming. I have also become an excellent consumer of TV and internet news, which essentially gives me the knowhow of a thousand talking heads and blowhards.

Here’s what my skills have allowed me to understand about today: We’re heading for a great depression, and, everyone’s to blame. Citizens across this country have no idea what is going on and have, as usual, very strong opinions about it.

Granted, I couldn’t tell you what the “bailout” means completely or that I strongly support or oppose it. But here’s what I gather is happening.
For the last several years, the housing market was inflated and banks were selling loans to people who could not keep up with their payments. Eventually too many Americans defaulted on their loans and lost their homes and the banks which doled out the money could no longer withstand the losses sustained.

Banks, of course, make money off lending with interest, but if they can’t even recoup the large amounts of money they lent to large amounts of people, they can’t perform their daily operations and thus have trouble staying afloat. When too many banks have this problem and start failing, the whole financial sector can no longer sustain itself.

Banks not only support nearly all Americans, but also small businesses and major corporations. Their failures essentially impact everyone. So the government was forced to step in and buy their bad loans and troubled securities in order to prevent further financial failures and a collapse of our market. They did this on a bank-by-bank basis for the last few months, but now it’s becoming increasingly clear that this will not suffice and that a substantial structured program is required for all the banks – and stat – to prevent a serious recession.

Thus the $700 billion bailout plan came about which would work to buy up all that bad debt from the banks. It wouldn’t be free money to the finance industry, but more like a turning over of a lot of their business to the government - which can afford to wait around for things to get back on track. Theoretically, should things get better, the government’s investment could turn profitable, and the money could be returned.

But many worry that should this plan fail, it would be the biggest government program disaster ever. Oversight and guarantees are needed, but may not be feasible. Liberal critics don’t like the idea that the government is saving massive corporations because they’re rescuing the rich, while conservatives similarly think it’s not the government’s job to interfere. After working to revise the plan over the weekend, the bill went to vote in the House today. After speculation it would narrowly pass, it was a rejected with a vote of 205 yeas, 228 nays. Upon this news, the DJIA dropped 777 points, the largest one day point drop in history.
Or something like that.

With this framework we can gather some very compelling blame arguments. I’ve tried to compile most of them. Let’s start with the most recent.

House Republicans:
The Republicans voted for the bill 65-133. They were supposed to deliver an additional 12 votes which would have been one vote shy of having the bill pass. Although many of the Republicans, like the American people, opposed the plan on an ideological basis, everyone who wanted the plan to pass is blaming the Congressional Republicans because they claim they were too petty to move beyond partisan politics to get shit done.

House Democrats:
While blaming the Republicans seems legitimate, the plan which was pushed largely by the Democrats, was voted 140-95 by them. The Democrats could have easily voted together and passed the bill themselves, but like the Republicans, they have to answer to their constituents. And like the Republicans, many Democrats don’t like the idea that major corporations would be saved by the government.

Nancy Pelosi:
The Republicans blame Pelosi for giving a speech to Congress before the vote essentially blaming the whole financial crises on the failed policies of President Bush and the Republican administration. They argue this introduced unnecessary partisanship into an issue which has been hailed as a bi-partisan solution. This supposedly turned off Republicans who did not need to vote for what seemed to be a “Democrat” bill.

George Bush:
It was Bush and his years of deregulation and tolerance of rampant corruption that caused this problem in the first place, right? It’s all that cowboy capitalism to blame! Yee-huh?

The plan itself:
The original plan was imperfect and panned as flawed. This past weekend, they worked to improve it but fundamental issues remained. It was marketed to the public as a “bailout” which was interpreted to mean that a bunch of rich wall street tycoons got greedy and fucked up and now the government was gonna come and rescue their ass, erstwhile the government wouldn’t help your average hard working American when they defaulted on their loan. This did not resonate well with citizens. Those weary of large government saw the $700 billion bailout as a giant socialist program with no guarantees of return or oversight. Lots of people of all ideologies basically were just not comfortable with the idea of the plan and don’t feel the current crises justified it.

Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke
Whatever, they came up with the plan, its gotta be their fault somehow.

John McCain:
McCain last week said “the fundamentals of our economy are strong,” then promptly realized we were in a lot deeper shit than he though. Then he “suspended his campaign” to go to Congress to try to get shit passed. Obama blamed McCain for not being able to do enough to rally Republicans, and this is why it failed today.

Barack Obama:
McCain says that had Obama lobbied for the plan, the Democrats could have wholly voted for the bill and it would have passed. McCain went to DC last week when only 4 congressmen supported the bill, and was able to build a large delegation of support among the Republicans, but clearly not enough. He accused Obama of “phoning it in” when real leadership was needed among the Democrats.

Wall Street fatcats:
The greed and corruption of the Wall Street culture was the ultimate fuel for the meltdown. Now they’re getting their golden parachutes and other catchphrases.

The banks:
The banks were the vehicle for the greed. Too many loans were approved when restraint should have been the MO.


So everyone has a hand in the blame, and everyone has had a chance to blame others. So I’m gonna give it a shot.

Absent from the finger pointing on the news network, in the papers, across blogs, and in general conversation was who I feel is the root of this whole problem: The American people.

As a British expat, I often find it really easy to blame my fellow Americans and here is no exception. Everyone is worthy of blame except the poor, innocent people, because it’s too mean to say that those who fucked up and lost their home are at fault for this nationwide economic crisis. But they are. If it weren’t for them this wouldn’t have ever happened.

Sure, the banks should have never sold them the loans and their now getting their comeuppance. But it was ultimately the people who decided they would buy homes they couldn’t afford, signed the lease they didn’t understand, failed to make their payments and lost their house. They just were lucky they fucked up at the same time as a bunch of other idiots. Now they can claim they were duped and petition the government to help them keep their house and save their credit. Because there are so many, politicians are eager to take up their noble cause and save them from their retardation. They will point the blame at Wall Street and let the banks crumble.

But it will be these same Americans which will suffer should the economy completely tank. The fatcats and CEOs may pay a heavy price, but these people own their cars and homes and have savings. They can afford to weather the storm. “Lettings them fail,” as many Americans have said they wish to see, means they’re asking to shoulder the heaviest burdens.

But everything’s gonna be fine, don’t worry about it. Gobble a dick.

29 September 2008

one hell of a gamble

Now unlike my friendly counterparts I am not much of a television watcher. I would rather type with one hand or read a wonderful book or do both at once. For most of the shows that I have ever watched, the season has either already run or nears its ending. This is in it and of itself a wonderful feeling, because that means you can series binge.

Ahhh yes the series binge....

So currently, thanks to an Indian friend of mine, I have been introduced to LOST. Yes, LOST, not lost, but LOST. It is impervious to know that it is LOST and not lost. Fellow LOSTers would take serious offense. Nonetheless, my series binge as begun. Now my question goes out to anyone who has ever seen the show.

Why the FUCK would the writers spend the first half of the fucking season making one of the biggest gambles of all times. Now this show, proclaimed as one for an "intelligent one," decides to spend 10 fucking episodes creating more plot leads than I can even remember. How the fuck can you even finish all of these plots? The writers have gathered a slew of 10 characters, giving them all a deep rich background, and not to mention they are on a fucking island that has infinite capabilities of shit to use.

This has got to be one big damn gamble. Imagine if viewers had never really caught on?

Now lets do some math:
10 characters
10 characters backgrounds
an island with a monster, a black rock, numbers, a freaking "hatch," polar bears, etcetera

So,

10(10^4)+i = WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT LOST?!?!

fuck it i'm on a series binge.

I think she's Voting Obama


Redneck Woman Rails on Obama - Watch more free videos

I love me some southern women..


(the dude in the front is classic
he makes the video)

28 September 2008

Evil condom headed dwarf kicks dick

I Lovez Me Some Lil Wayne

...and JackJack was kind enough to share this Flying Lotus/Lil Wayne remix video with me.

27 September 2008

What the FUCK?

I gotta get something off my chest.

I just LOVE how people buy themselves a digital SLR camera and consider themselves photographers. Sure, taking a nice picture is made easy with a great camera, but just because you're a rich fuck and had 2 Gs to drop on a camera DOES NOT make you a photographer. If that was the case, then what the fuck have I been doing in school for 5 years?

Fuck you, rich assholes. Do the world a favor, buy ME that camera, now go get it over with and apply to Rite-Aid helping old ladies put pictures of their fat fuck grandkids on coffee mugs. I hope you fuck up the order and get one of those mugs cracked over your head. Fuck you.

25 September 2008

Lets Generalize

Have you ever been in English class, and having a discussion about the book your supposed to read. Well if somebody didn't read then they should not try give their two cents trying to prove how smart they are to the teacher, but then there is always a jackass who wants to lick the teacher's pungent, unshaved vagina by over-generalizing everything, repeating what the teacher says, clinging onto a few phrases. It a wonderful concentrated dose of BS. They try to cling sentences together, it's quite interesting really, and after a few minutes of rambling they hope that it had made some type of sense and actually believe themselves. I am that person, but that is besides the point I am trying to make. Here are a few examples of it:


good example


poetic example- little long but worth your time


perfect example


spot on example

24 September 2008

Los Doyers... Te Quiero.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved the Dodgers. My Dodger bear who still sits proudly upon my bed is proof. His uniform is a dirty grey and has no logo, his hat is now a yamika, and his head and crotch have both been sewn with love by my grandma more than twice. In other words... I'm really fucking excited about the season the Dodgers are having, and I thought it would only be fair to share an outstanding article that was shown to me by a fellow Dodger fan and friend today.

I will also be showing this article to my father who, since our family moved from the L.A. area, has now reformed and does nothing but talk shit on myself and my beloved team. That's right, my own father who at one time devotedly took me to Dodger games adorned in his LA hat is now an Angels fan. What the fuck is this world coming to?

Thats all for now... except one excellent photo for the road.



CHR signing off.

Clay is gay

Who didn't know this?

I saw this coming like a dude onto Clay Aiken's face.

And he has a kid.

The world is going to come crashing down. First Palin's daughter got all knocked up and Bill O'Reilly yells at people for suggesting that Bristol Palin was "running around unsupervised." If she was fucking while being supervised, well that's something to be worried about. I prefer unwanted teenage pregnancies to remain unsupervised, thank you very much. Now Cl(g)ay is raising a kid and came out of the closet with news everyone already knew. I wonder how many fundamentalist evangelical conservatives are going to throw away their Christmas with Clay albums.

He did sing "Deck the Halls" which indicates a knack for interior design.

I learned this from reading AdamRiff. I haven't watched TMZ in awhile (I probably would have learned it there first) but I suppose seeing a gas delivery truck plastered with a TMZ advertisement was a sign of the dark things to come today. Besides the Amazonian prostitutes that are coming all over Clay today.

Speaking of gas trucks making deliveries, has anyone ever seen one with an advertisement plastered all over it? Today was my first. Maybe that's where all their windfall profits are coming from... the extra income generated by whoring themselves out to tabloid TV shows. Interesting.

23 September 2008

Do us a favor

Lately I have been hearing crazy things... things like people, other than the contributors, actually read vsbx. So, "people" please fucking comment or something. It would make things a lot more interesting.

Thank you

22 September 2008

LOLBUMz!!!!x!

21 September 2008

Strength

So we were sitting around yesternight; me, jackjack, and Mr. Nipple at Garkahar's place and we were just talking it up.

Garkahar brought up how great other peoples' blogs are and I brought up how lame they are as a counterpoint just to argue with him.

We all talked about how vsbx has no particular perspective. We're just a bunch of normal losers who aren't interesting at all. We like video games but we can't maintain a blog that's thematically all about video games in some way. We like politics but we want to complain and talk shit. We really are just a smorgasboard of bitter, normal people with nothing particularly that awesome to say.

Everything that is cool that happens to us is in our head. We complain about the shitty real world stuff. That is our strength.

Our weakness is that we actually talk about our site. Fags.

19 September 2008

Wasted money

Has anyone ever heard of the outlandish cases where criminals are trying to break into a house, hurt themselves, sue, and win? Ever think yourself, "HOW THE FUCK CAN THAT BE?"

Well my friends... I have no idea. But here is yet another one of those type of deals that just piss me off:

Wisconsin man [Townsend] serving time for reckless homicide yesterday was awarded $295,000 by a federal jury that found the inmate's constitutional rights were violated when he was forced to spend two months sleeping on a moldy, waterlogged mattress. [...] Townsend is serving 23 years for his role in a Milwaukee street shootout that left an 11-year-old girl dead. The child was hit by a stray bullet while inside her grandmother's home.

Wow.... I mean.. really.. come on now. I understand the rights guaranteed to all civilians, but come on he is in jail for killing someone. Sometimes I wish we just instill the Code of Hammurabi or something. Think about the benefits... Population control, keeping people honest, seeing a bunch of people die.

Secondly, 295k is probably immaterial considering the state and US' budget is X amount of times larger than these punitive damages, but this is more money than the fucker would have ever amounted to. What a waste.

I should ask Vladmir to write my posts. He always seems to have the appropriate vocabulary to voice my dissent.

18 September 2008

Why I feel bad for George W. Bush

I was a young Republican once.

A VERY young Republican.

Even though I lived through the last years of Reagan's administration, the first president I remember is George H.W. Bush. I was probably four or something when he was inaugurated but I do remember saying, "Bush is my FAVORITE president." My dad tells me this is probably because he and my grandpa (both Democrats) really loved Bush's inauguration speech and I probably overheard them and picked up on it.



Fuckin' pimp!



To this day I cannot come up with something bad to say about the first Bush. There's something nostalgic in me that just likes him.

And now that we are in the last few months of George W. Bush's presidency I feel like it's fitting to explain why I feel sorry for him. No one in the GOP will even talk to him or associate with him even though he remains THE TOP FUNDRAISER for the Republican party.

You know that friend that only calls you up when he needs money? George Bush is the guy getting asked for money... but George, don't you dare fucking talk on TV or take questions.

Bush is being replaced by what seems to be a group of people that lie more than him, are more inept than him, and more inconsistent (Bush is not inconsistent at all. Everyone is more inconsistent than him.)

Here's the thing: most Americans supported the Iraq War, we can't deny that. I didn't but I live in a democracy and even though I think I'm right... it's a democracy. Even though Americans were led to support it by what turned out to be erroneous "intelligence," that does not change the fact that most Americans supported it anyways.

Now we are in a quagmire there. Americans love to play the blame game but we need to point the finger at ourselves. We weren't questioning enough; we didn't hound our representatives. We allowed them to do what they wanted and they did. Either way, George Bush still believes that the Iraq War was justified.

McCain did and still does to this day (he's consistent on that). But on other issues like bailing out investment banks when they screw up, he said one thing one day and then THE EXACT OPPOSITE the very next day (when the federal government bailed out AIG) acting as if he hadn't said anything to the contrary of his most recent point.

McCain wants to restore the rule of law that Bush obviously desecrated. Why then does his campaign obstruct the rule of law and ask that the ethics investigation be postponed until sometime after November? Why is it that his VP does not fully cooperate with the investigation like she promised? It is obvious that when John McCain says he's running to "shake up" Washington, he's shakin' it up in the exact same way Bush did.

Why is the GOP running away from George W. Bush like he had the plague and flocking toward McCain who is obviously the same if not worse than Bush? If Karl Rove calls you a liar, you're a fuckin' liar because that guy used to be the biggest liar this side of OJ Simpson.



A liar.


I feel bad for Bush. Ever since he got elected people have been comparing him to monkeys but McCain supporters act like its a sin to compare McCain to Bush. It's probably more fitting to compare McCain to a monkey. Bush may look like one but McCain has the intellect of one.



So here's to you, George W. Bush. You may not have a friend in your own party but I'd be down to party with you, friend. You've saved 8 turkeys. That's twice the amount your dad did so don't get too down on yourself.

16 September 2008

14 September 2008

Norm

Saw Norm Macdonald at the Improv.

Why is it that every fat bitch with a boyfriend sitting in the front row of tables thinks that everyone wants to hear how funny they think they are?

Jesus, let the comedians do the comedy and you just sit pretty, eat your mozzarella sticks and laugh.

I'm sick of going to comedy shows only to have jokes interrupted by some chick who thinks she's brilliant.

And there's always some white dude that just wants to high five the comedian and be cool. Give me a break, douche bag. Save it for your kid's soccer coach.

That being said, Norm is fucking hilarious. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. It had the possibility of being just another horrible wash up on stage. Luckily it was not. Norm has always been one of my heroes and now he will always be.

Thanks, Norm.

13 September 2008

Picked me a winner

I picked a good week for a break from politics.

But here's a quick link I wanted to share.

Doom and gloom Democrats are bothering me right now. There hasn't even been a debate and people are acting like Obama has already lost. This attitude loses elections. We're going to win and we need to keep up the positive feeling.

Here's another link if you're an Obama supporter: GET INVOLVED.

I've made phone calls and got hung up on many a time but it's worth it to get the supporters supportin'!

McCain people: I can't wait until this election is over so we can stop talking about how much we hate each others' candidate and get to the real meat of things: how much we hate everybody. We are united by our general disdain for everything (except America. God bless it.)

10 September 2008

OH NO HE DI'NT




I highly doubt Obama was referencing Palin in his little speech, but if he was, he just earned strike one.
Palin is the Republican parties VP candidate for christ sake and if he is going to continue to hold pigs to such a low standard im afraid im goin to have to abstain from voting. Pigs have never hurt anyone, they are actually a great american export. If he is against pigs then hes against breakfast, and if hes against breakfast, hes against America.

Tokio Hotel




Now I know you are thinking to yourself this chick is probably pretty exotic. She is a mixture of LA-Hollywood scene with a little goth spice. Damn I'd do her good, right?


WRONG

Turns out this bitch ain't a bitch... well actually HE is a bitch... yes HE.

I, having been accused a number of times for mistakenly appreciating a nice feminine figure only to seconds later find out it was a males, even noticed that there was something wrong with this chick. So I looked him up...

Tokio hotel, my newfound passion for what-the-fuck-were-they-thinking, has been recently crowned at the VMAs best new artist.

You know what? I am so intensely irritated by these guys that I cannot even bring myself to go through all the fucking things they are doing wrong
. All I can do is post pictures and hope that you all feel the same sense of disgust resonating within your soul
























a bunch of deutscheland 19-20 pre-pubescent rock starz.




















I mean honestly... do yourself a favor and just google image them.. they all look the same fucking way for every picture.



09 September 2008

Sorry Vladmir...

about posting over you, and showing how much better and more intricate my doodles. Although mine do not have an overall meaning and connection to each other, the artwork is far exceeds his

Physics class, 2006
look at the post below please and compare

owned

A new semester (my last) begins

Ah to be back in school. There's nothing quite like the commuter university Cal State Long Beach. Parking is like having a mechanic jam a live curling iron up your ass repeatedly. I wont miss it after this semester. I'll be graduating and off to other things. Woo hoo.

Luckily every semester I get a car pool pass and it's more like having a mechanic jam a tire iron up your ass repeatedly (at least he knows how to use it).

Anyways, the semester has began and already on the first day of classes instead of taking notes I doodle.

Since I haven't doodled in a long time (3 months of summer), my doodles aren't quite up to par. But I do want to share with you what I spent an hour and fifteen minutes doing while a lady in a Germanic accent read a syllabus.
I don't know exactly what I was thinking but I think I was creating a race of humanoid like space creatures and their crazy little magic land with two suns. I don't know. The class is some space class (I just took it rather than fight a bureaucracy over one missing science unit).

I am a damn good doodler and I'll put my doodles against ANYBODY'S. This one is merely the first of the semester and definitely not the last. They will only get bigger and better and have a lot more graphic content.

Cheers.

Garkahar's been pestering me to make a post. Guy gets invited to contribute and all the sudden he runs the fucking show. I don't take orders from anyone.

08 September 2008

05 September 2008

For Vlad...

Today I witnessed something I thought was definitely worthy of sharing… especially on vsbx.

I woke up this morning around 7, in a terrible mood as usual, and fucked around for an hour and a half, making myself nice and late for the first day of my horrendous Friday morning, 3 hour, Art History lecture. Deciding that coffee was more important than being on time, I made a stop at a local coffee shop. I walked in and noticed the huge line, which immediately made me anxious and extremely annoyed. I waited nonetheless. To my left was a large, diverse group of people who had combined a few tables and were having what seemed to be an intense discussion. I made no effort to listen in. Unfortunately, the family behind me did. They had walked in right after me: a fat, bald, hideous man in his Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals, his obnoxiously thin, yet leather skinned, wrinkly, disgusting wife and their daughter… a nice combination of both uglies, in her horrible multi-colored tank top and stringy, wet, blonde hair.

After what seemed to be no more than 30 seconds of standing next to the group, the man turned to his wrinkle-face bat, I mean wife, and disgustedly blurted out, “UGHHH! DEMOCRATS!” Wrinkle-face, who apparently also did not want to listen to the discussion, replied by sticking her fingers in her ears and, in a screechy tone, exclaiming, “LA LA LA LA LA!” You know, something like this…





The second I heard this I immediately turned around and gave her one of the meanest bitch stares I could conjure up, and as Garkahar has noticed in the past, these can be pretty ruthless. Needless to say, she shut up.

Now, I am not a Democrat. I have been a member of the Peace and Freedom Party since I registered at age 18 (don't ask why, as I'm not too sure myself). Although I have been planning to switch to the Democratic Party, my lazy, stoner ways have gotten the best of me. After this display though, I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to switch, ASAP.

Thank you retarded, white, upper-middle class family… thank you.

McCain hides Palin

As McCain hides Palin from the American public, Obama goes toe to toe with a person who is not his biggest fan, Bill O'Reilly:



What is the McCain campaign afraid of? Don't Americans have a right to know about the censorship she tried to enact at public libraries in Alaska because some books were "offensive?" Don't Americans have the right to know that she and her husband were once members of the Alaskan Independence Party; a party who's slogan is "Alaska first, Alaska always" and its main goal is nationhood APART from the United States? Don't the American public deserve to know that she doesn't believe in global warming even when the GOP for the first time made global warming a plank in its platform? What about the firing of people she thought were disloyal to her during her time as mayor? If she's a "maverick" then so is George W. Bush.

Let's stop focusing on her pregnant daughter. Her daughter made a courageous choice in keeping her baby and I'm glad that there wasn't some self-righteous condemnation of her daughter from the right wing like there was when Jaime Lynn Spears got knocked up. That is a distraction from what Palin REALLY believes.

McCain used to be a "maverick," he isn't anymore. What made him a maverick was standing up against his party and against President Bush against tax cuts. Now he supports them. He's flip flopped on almost every major issue that made him so maverick-y. He used to march to his own drum, now he's marching in unison with the Bush White House.

Related:
Community Organizer vs. Governor

04 September 2008

Ha

Some Republican delegate misspelled "maverick." He had a big homemade sign that read "The Mavrick!" It was funny.

About those signs that grown adults make to wave at rallies: What the fuck are they thinking? How hilarious it is to imagine these fat asses sit down and color a sign. What are they in third grade?

Not that only Republicans do it. Democrats are pretty retarded to when it comes to sign making. I just find irony that the anti-gay party still finds the time to get together and decorate signs. So gay.

Edit:



Not saying it's anything more than a slip of the tongue but it just seems no matter how hard the GOP tries to distance itself from Bush it just can't. Subconsciously they can't do it.

03 September 2008

Sorry Garkahar

Well I don't mean to bump down Garkahar's truly worthy post prematurely but he and I are on a fact finding mission and I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

You see we're trying to discover what "organization" (read: cult) that someone we know belongs to. We have a hunch that it might be that lost Russian tortoise organization that operates out of Long Beach but they are SO secretive that it's near impossible to find any information on them without a name.

And Hell, we might be doing a service to our friends because they lost their Messiah or something that manifests himself as a rare Russian tortoise (that runs away).

One of their signs says RARE RUSSIAN TORTOISE MISSING! VERY SPECIAL TO US! CALL 562 433 9906 if you have any information. 2500 E. 7th Street, Long Beach, CA 90804.

This is the information we have to go on but I don't want to call or go to their offices or anything like that. They've been on the news a couple times so maybe someone remembers.

Shit, if you find that tortoise be a good person too and give them a call. There's a reward but if you lost your god wouldn't you want him back?

UPDATE: Maybe they don't operate in Long Beach but I know I saw them on local news looking for their tortoise. I need to know!! They had a Russian tortoise who got lost a few years ago and then miraculously years later they get a new one and they believe it is their founder reincarnated. Well, that tortoise skipped town too. ANYONE. TELL. ME. I'm an information whore. I googled every keyword I thought relevant and came up short. If anyone is more internet savvy than me LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU FIND.

Today was a hot day.

You know it's been a while since I've the privilege to enjoy sunlight. The past 14 weeks I've been holed up in one of two institutions... One paying well and the other supplying me with vast raw material for future blogs. However, that is not the point. Please disregard my doting of the warm summer sun, but this is also where my story begins.

Driving to school, shirt off, window down, hand out the window, I was stopped at a red light. Now, in my neighborhood, you can often find oriental pedestrians speckling the sidewalks with these lovely umbrellas, normally used to stop rain. However, orientals seem to use them more on sunny days then in the rain.

Why is it that Orientals love to umbrella on a sunny fucking day? I mean the sun gives you melanin or some shit and its supposed to make you feel alive. Anyways, so this Oriental in this specific situation decides that she is an uber-sun shielder who decides to wear a fucking cotton sweatshirt (white thank goodness), black exercising pants, and crocs with socks. I will forgive the crocs with socks, but why the fucking get up? I mean it was 85 and the dumb bitch has a black umbrella, a sweatshirt, and black pants. Sigh. Please someone explain the fucking logic. I mean clearly this guy did not get the logic.


A) he is walking around at night
B) he doesn't have an umbrella
C) he is wearing a male diaper with what appears to be an erection in it
D) he is my boy DH
E) he isn't short and stubby like the granny asian bitch i saw today - I mean... LOOK AT THE LIMBS - ...

I think you all the get the meaning of the post... Old asian bitches are stupid and I miss DH.

P.S. this was written while listening to the RNC intro for Mrs. Palin. I should have been more patriotic.










And just for good measure...




















please do read Yuri's post underneath me. It is very important.

02 September 2008

The reason to vote for Obama....

...is McCain. Honestly this man is not man, he is part reptile, maybe full. My research has just begun but can we honestly let a cold-blooded "candidate" give reptiles more rights? I mean I am not a speciesist but we need limits, presidents need to stay human. I began to research when colleagues at vsbx and other scientist noticed McCain's body ratio was not only abnormal but reptile like. His neck looks very closely patterned to that of a lizard and rough as leather. No wonder he could take such amounts of torture in Vietnam.

Pay attention to the beady eyes, and lizard neck
plus he is resisting the urge to smell with tongue

I have confirmed he is reptile, but not sure if he is part or full. One of most revealing points in my research are his arms. They are extremely short, almost T-Rex short. This is treading dangerous ground, not only is he reptile but maybe the most dangerous type of reptile there is. I'm down with amphibians not reptiles, when a candidate is a blood craving reptile and all it wants to do is eat others, I say no.
"Arms like that can not lead humans... human arms can lead humans"-George Washington

Right now you see a lovable, old, wrinkly, short-armed, angry, ugly, man but what I see is an evil, old, wrinkly, short-armed, angry, ugly, reptile. Under that suit is a old man, and under the old man is a reptile. I say no to reptiles in the white house unless they are pets, like iguanas. One day his true reptilian self will show and it will be forever know (depiction below).

(not an actual photograph, just artist's depiction)

Final Thought: FUCK REPTILES

Disclaimer: This is a very offensive and I am sorry to all reptiles, and reptile enthusiasts.

Senility

Senility: The chronic act of showing a cashier a picture of your 16 year old granddaughter whom you're so proud of.

This old lady always comes and shows me the same picture of her fat granddaughter dressed as a ninja with a sword in hand. She says, "I just wanted to show you a picture of her because she's a black belt and I'm so proud of her."

Every time I just glance at it and go "Okay."

One of these days though I'm guna lay it on her like a cock to a pastrami sandwich. I'm going to say, "Listen, I'm not interested in your under-aged granddaughter who has a black belt in eternal virginity. If she's not 18 or over, not naked, and doesn't have a black belt in nunchucking nutsacks I don't wanna see it. Have a nice day."

01 September 2008

Bold move, neighbor

On multiple occasions has my neighbor - who is not introduced or known by me - decided that he wants to take my fucking car spot in front of my own damn house.

Picture a section of a curb shared by two houses that could roughly fit four cars, if managed correctly. This fucker is a piece of shit. In today's example the parents decided that it would be best to park their 'for sale' car in the middle of our houses dividing the parking real estate leaving room for one car in front of our house and one their house... now thats not a problem but their idiotic children (who must have failed in life seeing that they have a family of 4 and come from AZ and moved into their moms house who also has another son is a registered sex offender) are TOO FUCKING LAZY TO GO AROUND THE CAR AND PARK ON THEIR OWN DAMN SIDE OF THEIR PROPERTY.

And to that, my neighbor, I say bold move.. better yet, checkmate.

Am I really going to go up to these guys and tell them that stop being bitches and park in front of their own goddamn house? I couldn't slash their tires or spit on their windows; their car isn't even worth the value of my spit. Sigh.

I cannot explain my disgust without spending 2 hours describing the situation. I hope you all have had the same problem so we can all revel in our disgust for stupid ass fucking neighbors.
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