Honestly

scroll down to see the prettiest pictures ever made for election 2008. Show a toddler, teach them things... illegal things.

Fuck it!

Drawing dicks on McCain's VP would be considered sexist

Why couldn't he just pick Romney so I could draw a big dick going into his ear?

Why couldn't he just pick Lieberman so I could draw a bout a thousand dicks pounding into his ass?

Instead, he pandered to the disaffected Hillary supporter audience by picking a woman.

Woman VPs have been on a major ticket before, McCain. I think women wanted very dearly to be number 1. Being number 2 does nothing to "advance" women's place in society. Being number 2 is just more of the same from McCain.

Hell, at least Biden doesn't have to debate that shit kicker Romney. The experience argument wont work at all against Biden when he's debating Palin who only has 2 years of experience as Governor.

It is a confusing choice, I must say. McCain supporters: how the hell do you feel about this choice?

Suck it

swallow on that...

College Girls Take Dumps

This ad is probably a result of all the dick drawing that's been going on on this site. "Famous College Girls Toilet Films." Sounds like an awesome Japanese film.

John Kerry and Bill Clinton spoke last night at the DNC and while I expected Clinton to be great I didn't expect Kerry to be. Kerry spoke passionately and attacked pretty well. I loved his line about before McCain debates Obama he should finish the debate with himself. I love how he turns around the GOP's main attack against him and use it right back at McCain.

Just two days ago I was posting about how much I hated Kerry. I still dislike him but he surpassed my expectations.

Chet Edwards from Texas was a horrible speaker though. I can't believe Drudge raised the possibility he was a possible VP. He forced his rhyme of "more of the same with John McCain (emphasis his). Pretty weak, Chet. We're not complete retards. We get that same and Cain sound similar. You don't need to breast feed it to us.

Biden is always good.

Obama's speech is tonight. Just writing the word "Obama" is going to change that College Girls Take Dumps ad right into a Jerome Corsi "Is Obama the Antichrist?" ad.

Super Fun Happy Links:
Spock has a pimp hand
Get literate
Two New PS3 Bundles For Europe - One is desirable. One looks like a bad Photoshop Phriday.

Up in your face

You know how I know you're gay?

MegaDick face fucked you in front of a live studio audience.

I want YOU!

What a lucky guy. Couldn't seem to the winning pantsuit color though.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

The grand tsgx/vsbx election penis drawing tradition has begun. I vaguely remember in 2004 drawing a penis in Kerry's hand. I was (and still am) a Democrat but I hated Kerry with a passion. Let the games begin.

Garkahar started this with a weird purple thing spewing water. I used that little color dropper thing on paint to get his penis color the same color as his hands.

I like his smug look. He's jerking it and thinking, "What? Yeah, I'm masterbating. I'm old. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Get off my lawns."

You know how I know you're gay?

I am sorry Vlad, but it had to be done.

Granted I didn't listen to a word he had to say - which would probably prove to be insightful and blabbersome- I will take all the heat you can bring... and probably wont dispute it.


Sorry for the color scheme... I felt Dr. Seuss-ish

Txt msgn an cel phns

I fucking hate cell phones. Everything about them.

I have AT&T and in my area it's gotta be the worst damn service. Despite what the commercials say EVERY SINGLE call is a dropped call. I must look and sound like a retard when I answer my phone in public.

"Hello? Hello? Hello? Ok I hear you do you hear- Hello?"

Throwing my phone is what I used to do but now I just spend a fortune on text messages. Being the most impatient person I know hitting the same number over and over again to spell simple words does not appeal to me. Instead I just abbreviate like it was nobody's business. I've been told by some that my texts are cryptic and hard to figure out. Others, who just like me hate wasting any nano-second of life on unnecessary number punching say they can figure it out very quickly.

I have a rule: if the abbreviated form features two letters on the same number I have to use a synonym. You will never see a text from that says "Hi" or "high." Those words are just too much.

Here's an example of one of my texts: "If u wrk 2dy chk my sked plez."

I feel like female tween who texts while listening to the Jonas Brothers and masturbating to pictures of Johnny Depp. Instead I'm an adult male texting while listening to the Jonas Brothers and masturbating to pictures of Johnny Depp.

Often I wonder what people say about my texts behind my back.

Ode to the Indian

Didn't want to take too much room up.

Ode to the Indian

Dear Indian workout
I love thee,
Over-enthusiasm
hyperbole.

Your speediness
from 'chine to 'chine,
has grown to
irritate me.

And your waft of air
from down your back,
smells just as bad
as my crack.

Dear Indian workout,
please stay away.
Don't touch my fucking weights
you piece of shit.

So i decided to write a fucking poem about the over enthusiastic idiots, mine just happened to be an indian this time, who run around the gym from work out to work out after only doing one rep.

This Indian had the nerve to take my weights - strategically position next to my towel - when I walked to the fountain. To top it off the dumbass decided to only do one set. siiiigggghhhhh.

Kids are so stupid

They're always complaining about adults treating them like babies. This is not a problem. The problem starts when you grow up and everybody actually starts treating you like an adult. My dad always said, “Enjoy every minute that you get to be a kid,” so I did. No one ever says, “Enjoy every minute that you get to be an adult,” because that’s just fucking impossible.

It is 6:30pm... at 8 years old I would be upset that I have to come inside and eat dinner because I was having too good of a time with my friends sticking playing cards in my bicycle spokes and pretending it was a motorcycle.


At 21 years old I am going to go fall asleep on the couch despite the four cups of coffee I had today because I have been at work since 7:30 in order to pay off my credit card bill. Worst part of it all? The childhood problems haven't gone away either. Yep, I'm still constipated. Didn't want to know that? I don't give a fuck.





Shut up you little shit.

Now that the Olympics are over

We can start shifting our focus to something equally as showy and hyperbolic: American politics.

But first let me just say a few things about the Olympics. I'm not a China hater nor am I an Olympic lover but this is the first Olympics I actually watched and enjoyed. The Brazilian women indoor volleyball team was smoking hot. The Olympics is weird because that's when you stare at the TV and realize most athletes aren't thinking in English.

I have a question to bilinguals: Do you think in both languages you speak? Does your brain just shift? It's a true mindfuck for someone who's taken 3 years of High School Spanish and still can only say, "Yo quiero pinocha todas las dias."

I wonder if the Chinese government went over to South Korea to shop at a Costco to buy a economy sized adult diapers for all those box shitters.

Back to American politics: The Democratic Convention starts today and will last until Thursday. Then we have the Republican Convention. It's like the Olympics of lies, promises, shit eating smiles and false hopes.

USA! USA! USA!

P.S. I think celebrities do a lot to help Democrats lose elections. Madonna, please just shut the fuck up. I want Obama to win, dammit.

Another note to all you celebrities with your heads up your ass: Comparing people who are nothing like Hitler trivializes Hitler's evil. Stop with the Hitler comparisons. It's ridiculous and disrespectful to the people who ACTUALLY suffered on his command.

Over the line?

Folks', Garkahar here deciding to go out on a limb with this ris-que post (pun intended).

So I'm sitting here, after doing a good reading session, thinking to myself and for some reason I just have sex on the mind. Now don't start jumping to conclusion getting pissed about a post over something lame... Think about this.

Ever watch porn?
Yeah... quite often if I may say so
Ever have sex?
(nodding your head) I've had my fair share.
Ever think about yourself having sex? IN THE 3RD PERSON?

I mean come on... its like combining the best things about sex and porn into one. It is like yeah i'm watching some porn, but then its like hell yeah im fucking too AND AND it doesn't have to be taboo that you are fucking to another guy fucking. How sweet would that be?

I mean when your having sex you have to look at her face and that might make things awkward or you know you might have to talk to her and then you might say something dumb or might slip up and she could catch you enjoying yourself with this stupid face.

Awkward.

But I guess it wouldn't be as weird as setting up cameras all around the room to watch yourself fuck... although it would be kind of cool.

ANYWAYS, I will probably delete this.. after I am done reading.

Good day.

Smells like a winner

Obama/Biden 2008

Update: IOC raises minimum age to compete to 16!

....No wait, its been that way since 1997.

Quoting the Times Online:

"The minimum age for female gymnasts was increased from 14 to 15 in 1981, and up to 16 in 1997, to protect the physical and mental health of young athletes"

Good thing Vladmir is the not the only one not concerned about impressionable young communists general well-being. Don't worry Vlad, your lack of concern for another kindred soul's, not to mention fellow CPC, well-being has not slipped past the IOC's all-seeing-eye.

Now lets just hope that they really nail the Chinese so I can have a fair warning before venturing into China to steal more asian women from asian men.

Once again, please do not let my banterings take away from the acclamatory post Vladmir has so graciously written on none other than yours truly.

Vladmir's Introduction of Garkahar

Garkahar is a brand new addition to this site because no one was posting and I needed someone to post. I decided, "Hey, give a douchebag a key board and he's bound to type something!"

I kid, I kid.

His sudden appearance on this site forced everyone else to post so I really do appreciate his presence. What is a Garkahar, you ask?

Very similar to an ogre.

Half asian, half white... but not the good kind of halfie. Ugly as fuck. It's kind of like God's way at getting back at white dudes who take away all the Asian girls from Asian dudes. But seriously Asian dudes, grow the fuck up. Garkahars normally claim themselves to be "fiscally conservative" but spend way too much time playing the original StarCraft to even care what that means. Garkahars are rarely seen driving. Garkahars have a knack for getting in the middle of awesome conversations and ruining them with millions of questions.

Garkahars have soft spots for Olympians. Often in the middle of an event they will ask everyone else watching to recognize the emotional trauma Olympians go through.

Garkahar is a garkahar but not every garkahar is named Garkahar. Garkahar is special (semi-retarded).

Welcome to VSBX, Garkahar.

Yay for Garkahar!

Today was a work day...

...and throughout the day I was not very focused on the children I was supposed to be watching. In the midst of playing board games, getting bombed with water balloons, and having a hot pocket smashed on the front of my shirt, I was doing a lot of thinking about conversations, thanks to my good friend Garkahar. Now, it is true, I do find myself often telling Garkahar to shut up and stop asking so many questions. I have come to realize after reading his post that it is merely because we have very different conversation styles. I thought a lot about Garkahar’s logic that a conversation will die due to a lack of questions and I have decided that I, of course, do not agree. It is in fact very possible to keep a conversation alive without using the interrogation method. My typical conversation style for example is often filled with random facts and stories. If I find that a conversation is lagging, I do not immediately think to myself “What can I ask this person?!” but instead, “What do I have to share with this person?”.
I also realize now that I don’t have a problem with someone asking me questions in order to liven up a conversation, what I do have a problem with is someone asking pointless questions during a conversation in which I initially intended to keep short and factual. This is why I have created a pseudo conversation between Garkahar and myself, to show our readers just how brutal it can be.

CHR: Everyone is going to watch a movie tonight.
Gar: Who is everyone?
CHR: I don’t know, whoever wants to go.
Gar: What movie? Where? What time? (These questions are not bothersome, as they are necessary).
CHR: Dark Knight, in BP, around 9.
Gar: How are you getting there?
CHR: Driving.
Gar: Who are you driving with?
CHR: Myself.
Gar: What time are you going to leave to get there?
CHR: I don’t know! When I feel like I should probably leave!
Gar: Who will be opening the back door for us?
CHR: I DON’T KNOW!
Gar: Where are you going to park?
CHR: STOP ASKING SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS!



END

Today was a great day

Please, do not let this post take away from the other two that have been posted today, but i have come, with topic in mind, to speak incoherent thoughts.

Now I don't want to go off naming names, but I have a friend who particularly hates it when I, "ask so many damn questions." Now, let me ask you this. Have you ever thought what the fuck a conversation would be without fucking question?

For instance:

G: Today was a bad day.
V: You are damn right. You muddied up my fucking blog with pointless posts.

This is the beginning of an argument.

G: Those olympic gymnasts -- girls in mind, more specifically the ones >18yrs old -- are under a lot of emotional stress.
V: who gives a fuck about emotional stress, you fag.

This is ridicule.

(Both of which Vladmir tends to excel in.)

Regardless of these examples, (which barely begin to explain the spectrum of "what is a conversation") how would a conversation get anywhere if you don't have anything to talk about?

Yes my friend, I may ask a lot of questions, but have you ever been in a situation where you have absolutely have nothing good to say/ state/speak? What do you do in this case? Sit there and let the conversation die so you can feel an awkward silence as you begin to feel the other person's presence suffocate you until you find yourself in conversation that has become an black hole sucking you into a downward spiral?

But don't fret though my friend. For alas, there is a hint of salvation, and that is that you are high, and all is well.

Do the world a favor, show some interest in life, or for the recipient of your "conversation," and ask a question to make things interesting?

Yeah I know. I have not fully grasped the idea of a post... or better yet a complete coherent thought, but I could write for days.

END

My life is brilliant

To add to what Vladmir said earlier, I was amused but surprised to see the inane banterings of the young sap Garkahar now showing up when I visited my beloved VSBX this morning. In Garkahar's defense, Vladmir is one dastardly duke, and there may have been some merit to ol' Gar's submission, be it as obscure or covert as it was (although there may be better ways to introduce one's self, see: mine). Although I normally wouldn't bore you by being vocal of the dilemma, I can empathize with his inability to post anything of worth. I am plagued with a like quandary.

As you may all know, many British men - me being a prime example - are quite handsome. American fems swoon over our accents and burly attitudes and dashing good looks. British women on the other hand are portly, porkly, and have the fashion sense of a prepubescent from Portland. Plastic surgery has not advanced far enough to fix their muppet mugs, nor could any multitude of beatings silence their drawling yammerings. Our hottest export is Amy Winehouse, who, if she ate our second hottest export, Lily Allen, would still be 1/3 the equivalent weight of most British women.

This, as you can conjure, will clearly create an attraction imbalance for my poor fellow wankers who have stayed on the Great island and date and fornicate with squishy faced Brit women, and, who unlike me, do not travel the world in Jetstream Dos CO2 factory with hot Latin models in tow, eating tacos and fucking all day long, and then making shitloads of money making deals, drinking scotch and smoking Cubans the the length of some Zimbabwe broad's saggy clit at night.

As a testament to this, I have found some images of the hottest (read: least fat) British women we have to offer the world in this gallery from our annual Love Parade.
Here is a sampling - and a hefty sampling at that:


The point of all this is my life is frankly too damn interesting to post on here. Not that I am ashamed of it, or that I wouldn't be thrilled to share stories with you, but merely because me mum reads this site and I don't want her to know that I've indulged in an anti-British lifestyle - like using Invisalign.

Today Was a Bad Day for Garkahar

I've only deleted two posts in the history of vsbx.net. I don't plan on deleting (m)any more.

Garkahar posted this yesterday:

Today was a bad day

I'll keep it short, to not take away from vlad's new post. I could not think of an idea. Very disappointing.

DEVELOPING: an idea?

That is the written equivalent of saying "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." You never have to say that in an email, a blog post or an instant message. You have time to think and no one hears what you are thinking, therefore there is no reason to post "I'm posting because I feel obligated to but I have nothing to say." If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

Sorry, Garkahar. That post is gone but I look forward to reading whatever else you have to say in the future. Don't take it personal. Just keep shakin' them knuckles.

Five Dollars

I witnessed sex solicitation first hand the other night.

There's this liquor store on a corner in a not so good part of town. Mexicans (probably some Salvadoreans and Nicaraguans there too) line up there in hopes of getting picked up for work. A few don't get picked up.

That's when the crack whores attack. They prey on the ones with nothing better to do than fucking toothless, wrinkly hookers with pus foaming out of their mouths.

So I was stopped at a red light and I always drive with my windows rolled down because I don't have air conditioning. I witnessed a hooker grab a Mexican in the penis area. I thought to myself, "This is gunna be great," so I turned down the music and listened.

"I'll suck your cock for five dollars," the woman of Babylon said as she grabbed him repeatedly in the dick region.

The Mexican stumbled backwards and asked "Five dollars?!" like it was a great deal or something. He was pretty enthused about this whole encounter. I mean if you don't get picked up to plow a hoe, might as well plow a ho.



Then she said, "I'll give you a preview." She then lifted up her rag of a shirt to reveal to this poor man her shriveled and dirty boobs. It was pretty gross. The light turned green; I was out of there.

When I drove past that corner about thirty minutes later with five dollars now in my wallet and looking for a good time both of them were gone.

On a related note, I found a new tribute to Princess Di on youtube. Here's the thing, this one is serious. Isn't it worse to make a horrible tribute to a person if you're serious than to make one that is just horrible on purpose?

Russia Playing Hardball

Looks like Russia's playing hardball.

It's like that one Full House episode where DJ has to choose between two guys who are at each others' throats for her heart. I don't get it. One guy plays guitar. That's Georgia. One guy fucks shit up. That's Russia.

DJ picked neither because she has her own mind, dammit and good for her. She's I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means?

Anyways, Putin is just a smarter and colder George Bush. He's using that Bush Doctrine to its fullest potential. Thanks to the Iraq War we have no legitimacy to say anything to Putin.

Hey, at least we came up with the excuse that we deposed a dictator after the WMD myth fell through. Russia makes no excuses. Russia needs no excuses. The UN is as impotent as Bush said it was (partially because he made it that way).

Unfortunately I think we're stuck. Russia seems to be forcing this choice. It's like Sid Meier's Civilization.

Can we be friends with China and Russia at the same time? After Georgia falls, China will go into Taiwan or Tibet or that crazy Muslim region. The world is changing, my friends. It sure as hell is.

I really don't want to see a war against Russia though. That could be catastrophic.

EDIT:

Does John Edwards think we are all stupid? In his interview he staunchly states that he and his wife KNOW that his bastard child isn't his. What does he think Americans think affairs are made up of? Hugging and holding hands? He should quit being such a pretty boy and open himself up to the idea that the kid is probably his and he's a liar. Honestly though, who gives a does what John Edwards fucks?

Asking God For Favors

Focus on the Family Urges People to Pray For Rain of Biblical Proportions at Obama's Sppech

I am so sick of these right wing religious freaks that ask God for the most ridiculous crap. Why not ask God to end the crisis in Darfur? Why not ask God to change Putin's mind about destroying Georgia? No, instead let's ask God to make it rain during a speech.

And another thing: when you call Obama the anti-Christ what exactly are you calling McCain? The Messiah? Is he the only one that can stop the anti-Christ? Give me a break. You need long arms to manhandle the anti-Christ and last time I checked McCain is lagging in that area.

When you ask God to make it rain during a speech; you're praying to the 1960s version of the Joker. A harmless, annoying prankster. Why not ask God for something that will actually make the world a better place?

In other news, I love the death penalty. Use it on this guy.

Somebody's Going to Hell For This

As the Olympics is kicking off I've decided to do something perfectly timed to coincide with it. Thematically it's perfect.

A tribute to Princess Diana.

What better way to kick off the Olympics?



Whatever, she's been dead forever who can still be offended by it?

A lot of people.

I admit, making the video gave me a bad feeling in my stomach so I basically used 5 images and quit, took a shit, decided I was way too lazy for a slideshow and just posted it.

AdamRiff said I should have made one for Heath Ledger. I'll wait 11 years.

Losing Mone: Part 2

deformed bird finds out the joy of life of having no parents

unable to see it clearly, to view the full size comic click here
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd138/gabeakarube/losingmonepart2.jpg

I Just Wanted to Let You Know That

Yo it's your boy, Vladmir. I just wanted to tell you that I just got finished posting, you know?

I got ten fingers and ten toes and I'm breathing.

The P in P. Diddy Stands for Prophetic

I really dislike P. Diddy. Have you seen that Burger King commercial where he says "Tell 'em P. Diddy said BK is open late"? I know it was scripted for him but that perfectly embodies his arrogance. He believes his words amount to something more than just pure bullshit. Watch this video.


Diddy is embarrassing to listen to - Watch more free videos

His statement about knowing people will hate on this and not "get it" is wonderful. Prophetic even. Because I'm hating on it and I have ten fingers and ten toes and when I'm running, man, I'm FUCKING RUNNING!

I wonder if he stops mid-sexual activity to realize "Man, I'm having sex!" and gets all gay and philosophical about it.

"I have ten fingers, ten toes, a ballsack and a dick being inserted into a slimy cavern."

Losing Mone Part 1

new comic strip about the heartwarming struggle of one bird baby deformed from birth trying to find his father

This is Losing Mone: Part 1-

To see bigger and more seeable comic strip go to:

http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd138/gabeakarube/losingmonepart1.jpg

Sunny Side Up Eggs Quickie

This is a quick link post.


The only reason I link it is because I ate sunny side up eggs immediately after finishing Metal Gear Solid 4. That game really made them look amazing and they are (just like the game.)

Heirs Famous For Doing Nothing and Taking Drugs

Thanks to Botox, Cindy McCain looks like she could be Paris' sister.

Paris takes a little dick from time to time, Cindy is married to a little dick (though I bet she's the one that wears the pants in that relationship.) She has a private plane. Nothing is more phallic.

EXCEPT FOR AN ACTUAL PENIS PLANE:

I realize the formatting is all assed up but I'm too lazy to fix it.