I got a bunch of shitty results. (HAHA SHITTY! HAHAHA! fuck you.)
Here's one.
Yahoo!Answers is such a retarded little endeavor. People ask things like "OMG I HAVE GREEN ZITS ALL OVER MY PUSSY AM I PREGNANT?" The answer is yes if by pregnant you mean "herpes." Fuck in the dark, lady, no one will notice.
But anyways, what do you do? Do you crumble or do you fold? I find folding to be pretty time consuming and effeminate. I do everything fast. I shit fast, I piss fast, and I wipe fast. Folding isn't fast.
So go out and VOTE! ODB thanks you for being unopposed in his rap battle.
P.S. I also found this picture in a Google image search:
So are you supposed to poop through the toilet paper?
Found it here. Her blog is equally hilarious/crazy. Has a background image of a cat. Weird.
Thank him for finding this. It's on garkahar's Hanukkah wish list.
12 comments:
i love everything about this post.
did you vote fold?
i would have never guessed.
i spell it crumple
hahaha. no vlad. i "crumple".
i guess the proper spelling is CRUMPLE. whatever, my spelling error stands.
Ahhhh yes the long debated subject, one to which I have grown a liking for, has finally made it to the vsbx table. I remember asking this question, as far back as jr high, to unsuspecting girl. (I say girl because I only knew one back then.) She gave the general girl answer: folding.
I am here today to discuss the masculine reason for folding: efficiency, durability, and for the sake of not getting shit on your finger.
Efficiency: You can get a couple of wipes out of one by folding it in half and so on and so forth.
Durablity: For those really tarry shits you need to apply pressure (plus it feels good on the prostate). I feel folding really lets you rip in to that anus.
Shit on fingers: I cant really envision crumpling so i just assume its like you take a sheet and just smash it into a ball and wipe. To me that makes no sense. You could misplace a finger and the next thing you know you have a stinky finger.
let me use an ANALogy. Wiping ass is like landing a plane. An anus has alot of shit residue on the surface and plane has alot of speed behind it. If your landing a plane you need a lot of runway. If you are wiping an ass you need alot of road. Its all about surface area. A crumpled mess doesnt seem to provide that much.
Yes, i voted crumple.
garkahar i can demonstrate with a picture the size of my crumples. i am the destroyer of trees.
there is no way shit is getting on the same fingers i eat chickfila with.
Well, "his" as the case may be.
Thanks for the link and visit.
it seems that if you fold there would be very little TP between your fingers and your ass shit. Its about as close to fingering your asshole as you can get. Crumpling, on the other hand, provides a mass of TP to separate your finger from going into your asshole. And if you fold you cant exactly shoot TP baskets when your done.
P.S. Cookies crumble
2 folds-in-half = 4 sheets
gary if you fold you're gay
btw
is that guys name really vladmir
thats pretty cool
-anthony
What were the final results when we did this poll before?
I still vote for folding. It's the most efficient way, and despite what Mr. Nipple argues, is the best defense against finger slippage.
Folding represents consistency. As Garkahar pointed out, you can fold TP in half and you know you have 4 plies through and through. Fold it twice and you have 8. Crumbling may give the impression of an effective line of defense against finger to asshole contact, but the inherent randomness involved in crumbling may have you rubbing with 20 plies near the top of your crack where it's less important, and with a single ply near the asshole which requires maximum barrier.
Crumbling = errant holes for which fingers may penetrate.
This less a question of environmental friendliness and more a question of common human decency.
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