Retail Warrior

I work in retail and I fuckin' hate it.

Words cannot describe how much I despise of customers; my job would kick ass if there were not customers. The infinite wisdom coming out of Randall from Clerks never resonated with me until I started serving people when I turned 16. It's amazing how much people expect and how ridiculous they are. Jesus was the first retail employee. God wanted to market this sweet new religion so he hired Jesus to go out and advertise it through his service.

He got crucified.

So here is the first Retail Warrior drawing, inspired by the fat families that roam through the aisles grabbing nothing but junk for their equally fat and disgusting children. I have nothing against the kids; they were raised by a retard. It's just sad and unbelievable to see perfect spherical beings waddle around crying about how much animal crackers are better than alphabet crackers. THEY TASTE THE FUCKING SAME. ONE IS BORING BECAUSE IT'S A JUNK FOOD MASQUERADING AS A LEARNING TOOL. ONE IS COOL BECAUSE YOU CAN EAT A TIGER. THEY TASTE THE SAME. YOU CAN'T SPELL SHIT WITH ANIMAL CRACKERS. YOU CAN SPELL SHIT WITH ALPHABET CRACKERS.

Now, friends, why is it that fat people don't believe in condoms? Of all the shit they pack in Ralphs carts you nary see a pack of condoms but you always see at least six fat kids all punching each other trying to sit in the cart because walking is boring and tiring. I'm sure it costs a fortune to feed all those kids. Hell, it costs a small family to feed you! What made you decide to have so many kids? What made you think it was a good idea to bring a kid into a world only for them to live until 24 years old and die with diabetes? I just don't fucking get it. That's child abuse and your fat vagina should never have a fat dick inside of it without a condom until you can get your shit together you irresponsible fats.

Anyways here's the drawing.